


Alligators in the Sewers (No Such Thing)

by sister_wolf



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-20
Updated: 2006-04-20
Packaged: 2017-10-12 05:31:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/121337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sister_wolf/pseuds/sister_wolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The boys prove-- or was that disprove?-- yet another urban legend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alligators in the Sewers (No Such Thing)

_Squish. Squish._ The sound of boots squelching with an unspeakably foul combination of fluids preceded Sam and Dean as they hiked back up the sewer towards the surface street where they'd left the Impala several hours ago.

"This is all your fault," Dean grouched. Sam rolled his eyes and didn't answer, figuring that anything he did say would just be used against him. Funny how when things went right on a hunt it was all due to Dean's planning and instincts, but when things went wrong (when they ended up covered nearly from head to foot in sewer goop, just for example), somehow it was all Sam's fault.

"What'd you say, Sammy? Oh, I remember-- you said 'It's not a big deal, Dean. It's just a sewer, Dean. Stop being such a baby, Dean.'" Dean's voice was growing progressively louder, until it echoed against the slimy brick walls as he shouted, "'There's no such thing as _alligators in the sewers_ , Dean!'"

"Well, there aren't!" Sam protested, shifting the heavy bag of weaponry and supplies from one shoulder to the other.

"Oh, suuuuuure," Dean said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "So what _exactly_ did we just kill, then? 'Cause it sure looked like an alligator to _me_."

"I'd guess that it was some kind of monitor lizard. Mutated somehow-- there could be literally dozens of toxic chemicals down here."

Deadpan, Dean repeated, "A mutant monitor lizard."

"Yeah."

"That's what you think?"

Sam started to wipe the sweat off his forehead, noticed the green goo smeared across his hand, and aborted the gesture just in time. "Yeah, that's what I think," he answered, feeling defensive.

"Well, you wanna know what I think? I think if it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck, it's probably--"

"An albino sewer alligator?" Sam asked incredulously.

" _Exactly_. Listen, it makes sense. More sense than _your_ idea, anyhow. I mean, how are these alligators supposed to end up in the sewers, anyway?" Dean didn't wait for an answer before continuing, "Kids buy them as cute little alligator babies, and then when they get too big to be kept in the tub, the kids throw 'em into a storm sewer rather than killing them."

"And then they grow up into mutant albino sewer alligators with a taste for Public Works employees, yadda yadda, we've all heard this one before." Sam squelched for a few steps in silence before muttering, "I still say that it was a monitor lizard."

Witheringly, Dean asked, "What kind of kid gets a _Komodo dragon_ for a pet?"

Sam shrugged defensively. "Well, _I_ wanted one when I was a kid. I thought they were cool." Of course, there was no way that Dad would ever let them get a pet, because they moved too much and there wasn't any room in the Impala. He'd rather have had a dog, anyway, but if anything that was even _less_ likely than Dad letting him have a hundred and fifty pound carnivorous lizard as a pet.

Dean gave him the look of _my little brother is such a weirdo_. "You would." And no one but another Winchester would have been able to hear the affection in Dean's voice as he added, "Freak."

Sam grinned at him. "Asshole."

"Well, I'm the asshole who gets first shower when we get back to the hotel," Dean said, looking smug.

"How come?" Sam demanded.

"Dibs."

"Goddammit."

They hiked on for a few minutes in silence. Eventually, Dean snickered, "Mutant monitor lizard, my ass."

"Shut. Up."

Dean's laughter trailed behind them as they exited the sewers.


End file.
